Women At Their Worst

One day, my ex told me that one of the women he was dating refused to meet our boys. She wanted to meet and talk to me first. My ex was agitated over this and he couldn't understand why there was a need for her to meet me. I tried to explain to him but quickly gave up. I never was blessed to meet this woman. You see, she didn't want to play the game and my ex thought he could find better living arrangements than an apartment above a bar where she resided.
October 2011, my ex met and started dating another at the bank she worked at and where I was a customer for many years.
I never met her, I just heard stories about her from my ex and my boys.
Right out of the gate, the girlfriend did things to hurt me. I won't go into details, but at the very least she became a thorn in my side.
Months past and one day, I found myself in the hospital with my son who was very ill. My ex called me and offered to spend the night with our son. I was happy about this for the fact that he never volunteered to do this ever before. The happiness was short lived because my boys informed me that their father's girlfriend was going to the hospital to support their father.
I was grateful that I did not learn of this until I was home with my boys because I was furious. How could a women sit at another woman's child bedside without having the decency to even introduce herself? By the time I arrived at the hospital the next morning, I had calmed myself and focused on my son.
About a month later, one of my boys confided that while I was away at the hospital, their father had them stay with him at his girlfriend's house. This sent me into orbit and I called her. We argued back and forth. She told me that I should thank God that I had her. She could tell me horrible stories of the girlfriends of her ex. She said it didn't matter what I thought or wanted, she was in my ex's and my childrens' life and there wasn't anything I could do about it.
So almost two years have past and ill admit that her actions and words still have the ability to shock and amaze me. I've felt extreme anger, sympathy, and disappointment for her. And it's been a struggle to keep my Zen intact.
The strongest feeling I carry is sadness. This experience has made me realize that up till now, I have been living in a cocoon surrounded only by women who loved, encouraged, uplifted and inspired me. How could a woman hurt another? How could a woman intrude into another woman's family?
I struggle with the thoughts..do I fight to force her to see what she has done...do I accept and let her continue to hurt me..do I continue to allow her to parade my children in front of her family, my family and her friends?
Or do I accept that their are women out there that are lost and in pain and they are willing to sacrifice anything to find some misguided happiness?
Do I send her love instead of disgust and quickly replace her from my mind with the woman who wanted to meet and talk with me before meeting my boys?
I have found when I can't see the right path, I let it go until it appears..until then, I will let the dreamer in me dream of a fellow woman that comes to me and says "Wow! You have your hands full. What can I do as your boys' stepmom to help?" You have to admit..that would be a cool situation and story!
And I'll express daily my gratitude of the cocoon of extraordinary women I have been blessed to have...especially my aunt whom I admire and look up to. (Thank you Aunt Mary Lou for talking me down)
And most importantly, I'll rise above gracefully and let go.