A couple of years ago, I found myself sitting with a group of doctors and therapists as they put labels on my son. I went home devastated. With the encouragement of my friends and family, I tried to embrace the labels that was placed on my boy and I spent days contacting people looking for help. What I found were places that I knew my boy would not thrive in.
I snapped and went completely mad. I became determined to keep my boy close, to teach him all he needed to learn without labels, all the while silently dreaming of his perfect teacher and classmates.
This went on for quite a while until my boy was finally blessed with his perfect teacher and classmates. I was slightly nervous when his first IEP meeting came about. Before the meeting, the school psychologist sat down with me to discuss my boy. Before he gave his opinion, he asked me what I thought about what the professionals labeled him as.
"I don't agree that my son is cognitively disabled. He's damaged due to the fact that he spent the first two years of his life cyanotic. He had been on the heart/lung bypass three times. Research shows the bypass knocks development back at least six months. I agree he has autistic traits but I refuse to label him as autistic. The problem I have with the word "autistic" is every child is different and needs individual help but the word lumps all the kids together in a box." I struggled to say to the psychologist. Never had I had a professional ask me my opinion and I was praying I didn't mess up.
"Your son was diagnosed as cognitively disabled and autistic because he failed the standardized test which it is based on verbal answers. Since your son is nonverbal, he failed it. With your permission, I'm going to change his diagnosis to his chromosome disorder followed by multiple disabilities. This way, professionals will have to look at your son's abilities rather than his diagnosis." My reply as the tears ran down my cheeks was a request to give him a hug.
I have come to find, putting labels on anyone limits them and confines them. It prevents people from really connecting and getting to know each other.
Putting labels on people can hurt you. I despise asking for help. For me, it was a sign of weakness and it was embarrassing. So I put my trust in people that had labels. I was rejected and hurt by these people with my labels. I came to realize that just because I put a label on someone, doesn't mean they are that label. Some people can't live up to those labels or even want the responsibility of that label.
We are all individuals, different in our own rights. We owe it to each other to connect and discover each other wisely..without branding.
