One point on my journey, I was discouraged because I couldn't figure out how to pray properly. If I couldn't pray properly, how could I have a connection with the Divine Source (God)?
My son's hospital was a hour and a half away from our home. For years it seemed I spent most of my time behind my steering wheel. Looking back, I see that all those moments behind that steering wheel were the moments I prayed. Quietly, I held great conversations with God, my Angels and Loved Ones. I questioned, begged, and expressed my gratitude. I freaked out, I cursed, I pleaded. As I would pull into the parking garage or my driveway, I would feel lighter or stronger, which ever the situation I found myself needing to be.
Prayer, to me, is simply much needed conversations with God. Prayer is an individual practice that is sacred.
Every morning, I silently have a conversation with God, but I started to resist it and slowly turned into a chore. So instead of praying, I started to reflect on why this sacred ritual had become a line on my to do list.
One night, as I struggled to fall asleep, the thought came to me that my prayers had turned into unanswered requests. My conversations had evolved into what I needed. All day, I would subconsciously wait for my requests to given to me only to be disappointed.
I forced myself to come to the realization that I had no idea what I really needed. I had to see that most of my choices were horribly wrong.
I grabbed my pen and paper I keep by my bed and wrote: God, the Divine Source, thank you for all that I have been blessed with and all the blessings I have yet to receive. I invite all my Guides, Angels and Loved Ones to continue to walk beside me and help me on this wild journey.
Instantly, my morning prayers changed and became sacred and necessary again.
However you choose to hold conversations with The Divine, do it. I've never heard of anyone saying a good heart to heart didn't help.
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